Category Archives: American Triumphs

May I Recommend™: The Golden Dollar Coin

I don’t use cash anymore, because paper money is dirty and has gonorrhea. But if you don’t tip the baristas at Starbucks, they will slip personal foam into your latte. The solution: the dollar coin. As it turns out, you … Continue reading

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Like Eating a Big Fat Ugly Baby, Only More Delicious

The Big Fat Ugly: Two rolls,  4 cheeseburgers, a double cheesesteak, a  chicken cheesesteak, gyro meat, grilled chicken, bacon, sausage, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese bites, fried mushrooms, jalapeño poppers, pizza bites, onion rings, hash browns, … Continue reading

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Eat 5 LB Grilled Cheese, Win XXL T-Shirt

13 different cheeses, 3 slices of grilled bread, served with hand-cut fries & slaw the way Ohioans like. Surprisingly, not all successful cheese eaters are obese, or dead.

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Your Faded Glory Now Available on Amazon

They’re selling reprints of your old yearbook.

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Obesity Starter: Krispy Kreme Cheese Burger with Chocolate Bacon

1,000 kC & 65 gms fat for only $5 at the Wisconsin State Fair, starting Aug. 4. (Chocolate-covered bacon $1 extra)

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Not Good for You: The PB & J & B

The Fool’s Gold Loaf:  1 hollowed-out loaf of bread,  1 jar of creamy PB, 1 jar of grape jelly, 1 lb bacon. Elvis Presley once flew to Colorado to have one, then shortly thereafter, died.

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Sadwich: Dead Bunny on a Bun

Shredded rabbit, $7 at the Arkansas State Fair. Add BBQ sauce and tears to taste.

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Sarah Palin Reveals the Truth They Don’t Tell You in History Books

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