The Final Sandwich: Something Different

Available at Junior’s originally from Flatbush, Brooklyn. Potato pancakes buns stuffed with brisket, with three dipping sauces: sour cream, gravy, or, the healthy alternative, apple sauce.

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Squirrel Sandwich: The Making Of (from Scratch)

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Culinary science gone mad II: The Turtleburger

You can can make this at home. The variation calls for 1/2 lb. sirloin, two hot dogs, four slices of bacon, Swiss cheese, two slices of tomato, red onion, an over easy egg and mushroom peppercorn gravy on a buttered and toasted bun.

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May I Recommend™: The Golden Dollar Coin


I don’t use cash anymore, because paper money is dirty and has gonorrhea. But if you don’t tip the baristas at Starbucks, they will slip personal foam into your latte. The solution: the dollar coin. As it turns out, you can buy them by the hundreds from the U.S. federal reserve, shipped directly to you at no additional cost. You can pay by credit card and earn miles, too, although:

By clicking “Add to Cart” I agree that I understand, and will comply with, the intended purpose of the program.

and so, you absolutely should not try anything sneaky.

The dollars come in Jefferson, Madison and Sacajawea. They are shiny and gold and walking around with twenty or so in your pockets makes you feel rich, rich, rich.  The only drawback is that sometimes the barista thinks you’re only tipping him or her a quarter.

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Culinary science gone mad: The Hamdog

 

A hot dog is wrapped in ground beef, deep fried, placed on a hoagie roll, covered with chili, cheese, and grilled onions,  then topped with a fried egg and fries. 623 kCal,  35 grams fat. Invented at the  Mulligan’s Bar in Decatur, Georgia, in 2005. Mulligan’s closed in 2006.

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The “Fatthew”: The making of video

Chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks and and fries on garlic bread. “It’s gotta be at least 2,000 calories.”

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May I Recommend™: Fukk by Maxx Barry


Before he was Max Barry the best-selling author of the corporate satires Jennifer Government and Company, he was Maxx Barry, the Australian fellow who had written Fukk., a swell satire of advertising and marketing, about a dude named Scat who invents a Gen X cola in a black can, which is promptly stolen (in the book, and then later, in real life) and ends up involved in the first feature-length product placement, a major motion picture produced by the Coca-Cola company. Fukk the book is now being made as its own movie under its U.S. title, Syrup, which will not be as good as the book under either title.

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What if I sell out and nobody buys?

buy

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One Possible Explanation for Michael Moore: The Fifth Third Burger

Served at the ballpark of the same name, home of the West Michigan Whitecaps. 5.3 lbs of beef, 5 slices of cheese, 1 cup chili, salsa, sour creamm, nacho cheese and Fritos. Jalapenos optional. 4,800 kCal, 300 grams fat, 744 mgs cholesterol, 10,000 mgs sodium. $20.

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Funny Until It’s True: The Quadruple Bypass Burger

From the The Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona. 2lbs beef, 3 cheese layers, four pieces of bacon. Served by waitresses in nurse uniforms.

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